By: Curt Williams
During an especially trying time in our marriage, my wife and I sought out the counsel and tools that would help us reach a new and better place in our relationship. In one session we were taught the concept of emotional bids.
The most elemental bid in a relationship is when one of the individuals utters the words, “I love you” This can be an especially vulnerable statement the first time it is uttered from one awkward soul to another. The one initiating the bid is hoping beyond hope that the bid is likewise returned, and they hear the words, “I love you too”. As a relationship continues, bids continue. The health and vitality of a relationship is either balanced or unbalanced in the way bids are made and returned. Bids do not have to be verbal. Sometimes a wife may do something special for her husband, and she is hoping that he will notice and communicate gratitude, or possibly to do something equally thoughtful in return.
Whether you have noticed it or not, almost every relationship you have is either nurtured or diminished by how bids are made and how bids are responded to.
I once heard that the most critical element of a healthy relationship, whether a dating relationship, a marriage, or a friendship, is reciprocation.
This adds credence to the concept of bids. If one person makes the bids, and the other rarely or poorly returns the bids, the relationship is not healthy and is likely on the way to irrelevance. If the energy expended by an individual is not reciprocated by the other, it might be time to evaluate the time and energy being expended…and not returned. This entire thought process has been weighing on my heart.
I began to think of all the bids that my Heavenly Father makes every day, hoping that I will return the bid. He communicates His love for me in so many ways, and sadly, so many go unreciprocated.
Every sunrise and every sunset, unique from any other in millennia past, are His bids to us. Every flower that has ever bloomed, in the distant wilds of nature, are His bid that He hopes will dazzle those who wander far from worn trails. His bids come in the laughter of an infant, the song of the mockingbird, and the distant thunder of a building storm. He knows our hearts, and often His bids fit who we are. For me, riding a motorcycle towards a distant sunset on a deserted highway thrills my soul, and I often let the Father know that He has touched a part of me He authored.
God’s love for me is communicated when I realize that all my children are in the same room enjoying good food and laughing together. I hope to always pause and tell the Father that I am deeply, unspeakably grateful. It’s a bid from God when I get to enjoy the fellowship of a godly brother over a plate of tacos. It’s a powerful bid from heaven when I glance over and revel anew at the beauty and grace of my wife.
Too often, the bids that our loving Creator sends our way fall unnoticed and un-returned. We are so busy, distracted, or maybe even entitled that we miss a stunning communication from the Master of the Universe.
That the one who spun the planets onto their paths and crafted the countless intricacies of nature wants us to notice Him should leave us stunned.
He bids for our attention, and most often we miss the signs.
Maybe today, or even tonight, you could wander away from the man-made noise for a bit and tune in to the bids that He is sending to you. His imagination is limitless, so you’ll likely be surprised by what you feel or hear from him. He is bidding for your attention, your wonderment, and yes…your worship.
He will certainly be pleased you noticed.
